I Guest Blogged! I'm a Rock Star!

I'm proud that I went out into cyber world and got myself a gig. Self promo can be daunting, which leads me to the whole gist of the blog - Channeling Your Inner Rock Star/Confidence for Self Promotion

 

http://shywriters.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

Channeling Your Inner Rock Star/Overcome Shyness in Public Speaking

I'm delighted and honored to welcome Kim Hornsby to the blog today. Kim Hornsby is a legend in her own mind (her words, not mine). A former singer, she opened shows for Jamie Foxx, Jay Leno, Bob Hope, even Maya Angelou in the Hawaiian convention circuit and was the star of an international infomercial. An award winning stage actress for Evita and Annie Get your Gun, Kim is no stranger to self-promotion. Her thirty-year career in show biz prepped her to teach the online course Channeling Your Inner Rock Star, with a unique approach to abolishing shyness.

Here's Kim:
 No one is born a rock star, complete with over-the-top confidence and leather pants. An individual has to work for that. (And grow into the pants.) Ever heard the Nickelback song “We all just want to be big rock stars, live in hilltop mansions, driving fancy cars”? Well some actually live this way but most celebrities do not.

These days we use the term Rock Star to mean someone who’s achieved success in their field. Eg) Wow, kids, you finished homework. You are a Rock Star.

We tend to look at those who’ve achieved enormous success performing in a rock band as beyond ordinary. But remember, even Pat Benatar and Tommy Lee have baby pictures. They put their pants on one leg at a time and catch colds.

My Point: One must work at developing an image to fool the public into believing that you are special. It’s referred to as Smoke and Mirrors. And it’s human nature to want to believe it true, to see someone as super-talented, uber-wonderful. That’s not to say if you follow the advice I’m going to give you, you need to be so conceited your head won’t fit through the book store door. Believing in your own PR (public relations) is a slippery slope. A true Rock Star can take out the garbage when not in black leather and chains.

Under the costumes, tattoos, makeup, piercings and hair gel, a Rock Star is simply another person in the world who has insecurities-- a human being who probably feels more comfortable in a larger-than-life personality when greeting the public. I bet Pat Benatar made lots of PB and J’s for neighborhood kids between tours and Tommy Lee played Little League before he joined Metallica.

In my life I have known a few rock stars, celebrities, and movie actors of enormous proportions and I’m here to tell you that off stage and out of makeup, most are a bit shy--Steven Tyler, for example. I took him snorkeling in Hawaii once and he is a quiet man. Jamie Foxx, whose name is actually Eric was raised by his Grandma and is extremely humble. These people created a stage persona and you must too. If shyness is holding you back, you must dig deep to find that inner celebrity that we all have hiding somewhere behind the spleen. Once you find her she will help get through public events that would’ve otherwise leave you shaking in your boots, quivering in your Victoria’s Secrets, sweating through your sweat suits. (Note: Unless you are a sports star, I highly recommend you refrain from wearing sweat suits when trying to be a Rock Star.)

On that note, the first step to Rock Stardom is physical presentation. Go into your closet and find yourself an outfit that says “__”. You must insert your celebrity/pen name here and if you don’t have one I suggest you find one because this is how you will refer to yourself when it’s ‘ShowTime!’

My stage name used to be Kimberley Horn because there were too many syllables in my real name for my former talent agent. Now my pen name is Kim Hornsby. I did not deviate too far from the truth but you see where I’m going with this.

Once you have a few killer outfits that make you feel special, check that the rest of you is ready for the spotlight -- hairstyle, shoes, jewelry. What makes you feel successful enough to have a Lear jet to fly to San Fran for breakfast on the pier? This is the side of you that does not scrub toilets, make school lunches, clip coupons. She takes her pool boy (or husband) to South Beach on Saturday night to dance and sleeps until three the next day. After your have the look, you must make yourself believe how wonderful you are. If you skip this step you’re in trouble. Affirmations, self talk, call it what you want, but do it just before called upon to speak in public.

As you look out on the sea of faces, just remember, do not read your audience too closely. It’s the kiss of death. Just plough through, if you’re giving a key note speech, talking to a group at a book signing, whatever. Don’t assume you know what they are thinking. The expressions on their faces may not reflect their thoughts. Probably won’t if they are listening intently. Take your glasses off, look over heads but don’t read their faces.

I want to introduce to you a character I love to laugh at on SNL, called Shy Ronnie. He is played by Andy Samberg and the only reason he is so drop-dead funny is that we know Andy is not actually shy. The link to see him is at the end of the blog. Were Shy Ronnie a real person, it would be excruciatingly painful to watch him try to rap alongside Rhianna. When asked to speak up, his voice is so miniscule it’s painful to watch. But when his beautiful co-singer leaves the room in frustration, Shy Ronnie takes off. His shyness in front of Rhianna makes him not only unable to do his job but makes him look silly, due to lack of confidence.

Remember this when you are in front of an audience – the people who have paid money or taken time out of their busy lives want to like you. When you open a book, you are hoping that the protagonist is someone to relate to. Likewise, an audience member wants to like you and will give you every possible chance to be worth their time. If they don’t like you (and you will probably never know this), it might be their own problem. Maybe they’re distracted, closed-minded, too focused on their own lives or not ready to listen.

In recap, you must create a celebrity side to yourself complete with a celebrity look (and name) -- an outward appearance that says ‘Someone Special is in the House’, practice self talk and remember the audience wants to like you.

Good luck to all the shy people reading this. Now click on Shy Ronnie and tell me you aren’t this bad!


http://www.hulu.com/watch/113207/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-shy-ronnie

You can learn more about Kim here:

http://www.kimhornsby.net/


http://www.kimhornsby.blogspot.com/


mailto:www.kimhornsby@yahoo.com


https://www.facebook.com/#!/kim.hornsby1

http://twitter.com/kimhornsby

Life Lessons at Christmas (From the 'Teau Mama Blog)

When the kids are grown (in years to come) and picking apart your mothering skills, no one will say that you didn’t do everything possible to make Christmas the most wonderful time of the year, right?
Remind them it was not about keeping up with the neighbors who had 20,000 Christmas lights on their lawn, made toys for poor kids and visited every Christmas activity, their mini van’s engine hardly cooling all December.
It was, and still is, about teaching your children some very important life skills while celebrating.
This month is the perfect time to slip in some teaching/parenting lessons, while you dangle the promise of toys in front of them.
1. When you get to Snowflake Lane at Bellevue Square at 7:20 p.m. and find there are no parking spaces or discover that the show just ended, the lesson of planning, checking schedules online, leaving early to avoid traffic would fit in here. (note: This lesson is best taught at Yo Plateau or U Top It in Sammamish where you will drive to make up for your disorganization)
2. Should you take them to Breakfast with Santa, pay extra for a photograph with your children on the Big Guy’s lap, and discover that they are terrified to be within twenty-seven feet of him, patience would be the obvious lesson here. That one is for you. Walk away from your dream of your darlings on Santa’s lap. Avoid future therapy costs and teach your children that Mommy did not put her expectations over her children’s fears. The money she paid for the photo is easily forgotten, as is the idea of having that photo decorate the wall every year at Christmas. Mommy can 'photoshop' one later with a picture of happy children.
 The children’s lesson is that Mommy loves them. A letter from the scary man in a strange costume might suffice.
3. Taking children to Toys 'R' Us or any toy store this time of year to pick out a sibling gift is just plain ridiculous. Don’t do it. This lesson is for Mom alone. No child can go shopping at a toy store, this time of year to buy something for someone else without tears. Don’t try to teach the spirit of giving to a young child at a toy store at Christmas. Period. Bartells has toys. Safeway too.
4. Having to decorate only the top third of your tree because this is the puppy’s first Christmas and doesn’t understand that a tree in the house with keepsake ornaments is off limits, is a lesson for your children about sacrifice. If they are upset because the tree looks strange, remind them that they wanted a puppy and then throw in that no one but you walks the puppy or feeds or gets up in the middle of the night with their puppy and you’re too tired to argue about what the tree looks like. (sorry, I’m getting carried away here).
5. When your children make a wish list as long as the driveway and you wonder how you can possibly fulfill their Christmas morning dreams, you must pull out the word moderation and explain that Santa can’t possibly put it all in the sleigh and only a few things will be chosen off that mega-list. Then you can teach them to throw their tear-soaked tissues in the trash when they finish crying. That lesson is cleanliness (as if I have to explain that to a mother!)
Enjoy the season, take your meds, ease up on the chardonay, don't electrocute yourself whilst putting up the lights and don't forget to buy yourself a little sompin, sompin to reward yourself for another Christmas well-done.
Over and out.

Dancing with the Stars Semi-Finals

We are down to three couples competing for that ugly mirror ball trophy after losing Hope Solo to bad sportsmanship, I mean poor dancing, I mean low popularity, this week.
Hope never deserved to get this far and it was only her gold medal and Max's unpredictability that got her this far. In a perfect world David Arquette or Chyna Phillips would have been in the top 4. And both would have been in the top 5 instead of Nancy Grace. Especially after Nan's remark about her not being a 'war hero' which made her look like the bitter middle-aged woman she probably is. (not that its bad to be middle aged!)
I was disappointed in Hope's departure, which sounded like so much sour grapes my mouth pursed to listen. Yes, Hope, you just go get you one of those soccer gold medals again because that mirror ball that you got tricked out of because the judges hate you, is stupid and plastic. Note to Hope Solo: Great name but it serves no purpose to be snarky on national TV and Max does not set a great example.
Now we have JR, Rob K and Ricki Lake. Let's just take Rob out of the mix unless something absolutely amazing happens over the weekend. He's come a long way baby but no match for the other two.
JR looks like his candy has been taken away and he needs to get his confidence back on, in spite of his ankle injury. Doctors, do something quick for that ankle. Karina, do something for his confidence.
Ricki is deserved of the win but her dancing is not as fluid and gorgeous as JR. Her shoulders continue to stay in a tense, hunched position and her arms aren't as graceful as they should be.
JR deserves the win and not because he's a war hero who has overcome such horrors to deserve anything, but because he is a beautiful dancer. If his ankle does not give him a break this week though, we may end up seeing Ricki with the mirror ball, tight shoulders and all.
JR needs to assume the win, keep smiling, keep dancing and show us the dancing we've come to expect. Come on Man, you can do it. We'll see on Monday and Tuesday nights for the Two Night Finale.

BAchelorette Goes to Taiwan!

Taiwan,the jewel of Asia was the setting for Monday night's episode of The Bachelorette and tuning in this week was worth it if only to see how geographically and architecturally gorgeous the island of TAiwan is. Lush jungle settings, the Taipei wedding photo district, the Lantern festival in a quaint coastal village were stops for Ashley and the remaining bachelors as they battled it out for next weeks hometown dates.
Constantine had a one on one date in which they travelled by steam train to the tiny village of Ping Sho to make a giant red lantern with their love wish and release it into the sky. Sounds romantic right? Except he kept saying that if he falls in love with her it will basically hit him like a brick to the head and he'll know when it happens which means "Hey, I'm not gonna fall gradually and I haven't felt it yet." Ashley loves this stuff - think Bentley, and nodded her head like all his flagellating was ok with her. She lives for the chase. And why is Constantine's hair always wet? Please don't tell me he gels that long mess. Two words for Constantine: Scissors and Charm.
Ben got a group date that lasted until the next morning which made the waiting bachelors in the Taipei REgent hotel stewing in jealousy and envy. Ben, the wine maker is definitely a front runner with his hippy style and ability to tell her how he feels. They went on a scooter ride through the mountains only to end up at a suspension bridge (kiss), then go for dinner at a resort (kiss) and end up staying the night in what Ben later said were called 'separate rooms'( more than kiss?) And if you believe that one...
Then the group date with Ames, JP and Lucas saw them at a photographic studio wearing 3 styles of wedding garb for wedding photos. Cute idea except that JP was in a piss poor mood about his girlfriend and Ben spending the night together and brought them all down. Then Lucas was assigned the traditional wedding garb of what he called a gold "dress", Ames wore a Vegas style blue tux with ostrich feathers (which I thought was totally fun and wonderful) and JP got the classic tux which did not make him pull up his sock straps enough to enjoy the date. He is ready to have Ashley completely to himself and his jealousy is showing through enough to red flag his almost girlfriend, but no, she gave him the rose for good sportsmanship and didn't see the green tinge to his skin around the other guys.
The next one on one was Ryan's long awaited date. Smiley Ryan, showed up to pour on the enthusiasm and positive energy (not solar) with none of the authenticity that was needed. He smiled through her boredom, telling her what a great date it was, explaining how hot water heaters can use less power and never noticing AShley's tell tale sign of biting her lips when something terrible is about to happen. She sent him home in the middle of a bite of dim sum and Ryan had a few tears behind the bushes while the cameras tried to chase him around the foliage to catch him crying. Just wait until the parties Ryan, that are part and parcel of being on the bachelor.Even that Guard and Protect your Heart guy found a girlfriend there. Poor Ryan just wants someone to love.
At the rose ceremony (no cocktail party - she knew who needed to leave) AShley kept Ames, JP, Ben, Constantine and let Lucas saunter, cowboy-style off into the sunset as he called her sweetheart and sugar and tried to leave gracefully. Then in true AShley form, she cried over her decision and worried that she shouldn't have let him go.
Next week is hometowns and we finally get to see the people who reared that gem of a gentleman Ames. I am pretty sure it's Ben who ends up with Ashley but I'm going to go out on a limb to say that I think Ames might be the next bachelor. Wouldn't that be interesting to watch him romance those wine drinking party gals, Nantucket style in his blazer and chinos?
Out for now. Thanks for reading!

Pacific Northwest Novelists

The Seattle area is peppered with novelists, some superstars in their genre like Cherry Adair (love this woman!), Debbie Macomber, Susan Wiggs, Jane Anne Krentz, Julia Quinn, Alexis Morgan, Jane Porter, Stella Cameron and Yasmine Galenorn. These women are celebrities at romance writing conferences, many having enjoyed the NY Times Bestseller List. Some even have movie deals under their belts. Jane's hit "Flirting with Forty' starred Heather Locklear.
Then we have the Bob Mayer, Garth Stein, Carol Cassella, Jamie Ford, Bob Dugoni, Stephanie Kallos crowd who write literary, commercial fiction and beyond. (I know I’m leaving out some mega writers and I'm sorry if I don't know you but I'm part of the RWA and we don't hang at Hugo House much). Last year 36 writers from the Seattle area converged on Hugo House, a writers’ haven and café, to write a novel - live. I tuned in online, during those 3 days to watch Jamie and Carol write. I know Carol through a friend and was interested in how other writers actually come up with stuff to put in a book. Jamie smoked an unlit pipe.  Watching them was fascinating stuff if you’re a writer, or a voyeur. The result is the novel Hotel Angeline: http://www.openroadmedia.com/authors/the-novel-live-authors.
Thousands of us, (well maybe only six hundred of us in the Seattle area) have novels we hope to see published someday. These books are worthy of publication but for some reason there is an overabundance of writers in this decade who are competing with each other to secure an agent to get a publishing contract. We happen to be a dime a dozen, and because of that, agents are extremely picky about taking on a first time novelist. To get a literary agent interested, you must have a platform worthy of attention and a book that reaches out to grab the reader by the throat. My platform is still postage stamp sized and my books only grab a reader by the eyebrow hair, it seems.

When non-writer people hear I’ve written three unpublished novels, they usually ask why I haven’t had them published. I could answer that they’re not good enough but I’d like to think the truth is that getting an agent to take your book to a publishing house is like trying to get a starring role in a movie opposite Brad Pitt. Tres difficile.
Agents love to tell us writers that they get hundreds of queries a day asking for representation. And there are hundreds of reputable literary agents all over America, working to find the next breakout novel. You do the math. It’s grim statistics for first time novelists, especially in commercial fiction which is what I write. I am not a romance writer because I just can't put the words 'his burly chest filled the doorway' on paper and respect myself in the morning. Romance stories are slightly easier to get published because readers of romance buy on an average of three to five books a month, bless their hearts. They are the backbone of the publishing industry. And romance writers are some of the nicest, most friendly gals I've ever met.
Regardless of the genre, the process of getting published is the same: First you need an amazingly compelling subject matter - she's a human, he's a vampire and their love is forbidden. Then you need loads of believable conflict - her best friend is a werewolf and they hate vampires. After that, the story itself must be written succinctly with no typos, properly formatted and the agent must be in the right sort of mood that day to believe that the story might work. If they like the concept and ask for the first three chapters, you cross your fingers they’ll ask for the full manuscript. Now you can break open the Veuve, to toast your accomplishment. A rejection at this point is devastating, especially if you’ve made loads of revisions to please them. But if the agent takes the book to their buddies at a publishing house to read, it is hold your breath time. If the novel gets approved by the publishers, the editor steps in and money is spent trying to get your book on the shelves, in both the bookstore and at homes around the world, as well as sold and downloaded to e readers. The author must now do months of PR work both online and at bookstores to promote not only the book, but themselves. An author these days must also be a public speaker and a computer wizard. 
I love to read our local authors (Seattle area), support the peeps I meet at writing conferences and be fully entertained at the same time. Here's some good reads by local writers:  Healer, Oxygen (Loved both of these women's fiction novels) - Carol Cassella;  She's Gone Country (extremely entertaining) - Jane Porter; The Art of Racing in the Rain (Lovely story) - Garth Stein; Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet - (just like it says - bitter and sweet) -Jamie Ford; The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever (fun historical romance)- Julia Quinn; Undertow - (super sexy fast read) Cherry Adair http://cherryadair.com/CherryAdair.html (check out her awesome website!) Breakup Babe - (a critique partner- fun read in blog/email style) Rebecca Agiewich; Broken For You - (complicated and beautifully written) Stephanie Kallos; Night Huntress -(paranormal roller coaster ride) Yasmine Galenorn; Lakeside Cottage - (beach read romance) Susan Wiggs; Undercover Stranger - (Pat got me started in the RWA) Sammamish author Pat White;

I have three finished novels and am in the Veuve stage this month with a dream agent reading my third book. I've been here before and needless to say, I have everything crossed that can possibly be crossed and am walking around with a four leaf clover and rabbit’s foot in my pocket. The likelihood of her representation is slim but I'm still excited. 
If you’re perusing the library shelves this summer, here’s some recommended beach reads: Castaways (or anything by this author)– Elin Hilderbrand; The Doctors Wife – Elizabeth Brundage; Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Neffenegger; Sleep Walking in Daylight - Elizabeth Flock; 
I like heavy subject matter in my reading material but the first author - Elin - combines the beachy feel of a fast read that keeps you up all night, with weighty topics. Kind of like Jodi Piccoult meets Jane Porter.
Regardless, enjoy your novels this summer when it's assumed you have enough time to read a few extra books by a pool, lake or any other body of water.

The Bachelorette on ABC

Second week in and already we have a villain on ABC's The Bachelorette. And he's named after a car, unlike the most hated contestant (to this point) Wes who wasn't named after a car but was way nicer to the the gal than this scum bag, Bentley. Oh God but it makes good television when the contestant says horrible things about the woman on camera then goes to kiss her simply because he's competitive and wants her to think (or America) that he's the best guy there. Drop that idea Bentley because now you are the worst guy, not only there, but in all America after last night's airing. I can't imagine you'll get a date in a long time after saying that you don't like Ashley but you'd let her tickle your _ickle. I feel most sorry for Bentley's daughter Cozy,(after Ashley), who waits back in Utah to see if Daddy is bringing home a wife. God help that kid. Let's hope the mother is something wonderful, for Cozy's sake.
Moving on, my front runner is Mickey but E is crushing on West. They are both nice lookers, unlike the guy wearing the mask who even swims in the Bachelor pool with a full black mask on his unshaven face. And what was that shot last night of the masked man on the toilet in his mask. Come on ABC! Do you really need to show that? My theory is that Jeff (masked man) has a huge Frankenstein scar across his forehead where he had brain surgery a few years ago when his wife divorced him for being too weird. Or he divorced her (he said) for some lies told in their marriage. "Sure honey, I love it when you wear that mask to bed."
AShley had a one on one date with Prince William, I mean the smiley guy william and although I think he's a fantastic sport for pretending to marry her ("awkward", my 9 year old daughter sang when the minister started the vows), I think he's too young for Ash. Too sweet. If she's leaning towards Bentley, she likes a challenge, a bad boy, someone who doesn't necessarily want her.
Mickey, the chef from Cleveland seems nice but E says he looks weird. I agree but i like that. He's gorgeous but has a weird look. But he did say that he hoped his date with Ashley was his last first date ever and that is the sweetest thing to say EVER!
The Harvard guy is weird as is the masked guy but hey, she's got to keep some of them around just for fun right? She can't fall for all of them. (mickey)
Next week, it looks like Bentley tells her he's going home to Utah to his Family Fun Center because she's not his type and she goes to bed to cry. In my opinion, she should send up fireworks of rejoice and hopefully now knows that. Keep watching.
It's my shameless guilty pleasure, watching this stupid show. I love to see the group dynamics, the dating, the drama, the costumes, the locations, the editing. Even though I know the odds are against it, I still hope that two people will find each other in the process and end up wildly in love.
Out for now.

Soccer at Nike Headquarters

I just returned from Nike World Headquarters in Beaverton Oregon where hundreds of 14 year olds are battling it out on the soccer field for the chance to be the Premier Cup Manchester United American Champions. May I say that my son was the goal keeper representing the State of WAshington in this competition and although we weren't allowed to travel with, or even talk to him except by text and phone, we drove to Portland on Saturday to watch our son play. on the Ronaldo fields at Nike. Man that is one fine place to work with it's manicured grounds, child care center and man-made lake.
My son's Crossfire team (state champions) stayed together in a hotel, travelled by Crossfire vans, ate together at the hotel, slept when they were told to and wore identical clothes the whole 4 days. It was freaky to see your child across a field, not be able to touch him or talk to him and not know how the weekend is going. Texts were sketchy with excuses like, "my phone died" and "I lost my phone for a few hours". My husband, daughter, two dogs and I drove for 4 hours to catch a glimpse of the same kid who used to be the toddler who always planned to live with Mama and Daddy, only to have him leave the field after his game en masse without looking over at us. Freaky.
Yesterday when I saw the team watching another game on the sidelines, I did go up to the child I gave birth to, sat down beside him on the rock wall and said hello. He smiled, was polite but I could tell he was thinking "Mom! No one else is talking to their mothers!" It was strange for all us Moms who'd driven down from the Seattle area to support our children from a distance. When the team lost, I wanted to hug my child knowing how much he'd counted on making it to the finals but instead sent a text that said "You played great. I'm so proud. Love Mom".
The best reaction I got from my texts this weekend was when I told him I was walking his dog who was loving the forest and trails that web the Nike acreage and he said "I bet." Into that, I read that he was thinking about his dog and the fact that as well as being a soccer player, my son is the member of the family who made the trip to support his efforts in trying to be the best 14 year old GK ever. His dedication to the sport is admirable and I am so proud that he has a passion like soccer to pour his athleticism into. This experiance of competing against the best 14 year old soccer players in the country has been a fantastic experiance for him even if they won't be going to the Championships in England this summer. And it has prepared me a tiny bit for the day when my son doesn't live in our house, eat our meals, drive with us everywhere. Oh my breaking heart...
Just sayin'.